常言道,“近朱者赤,近墨者黑”,我們都被自己身處的圈子影響著。
已故的著名美國企業家吉姆·羅恩(Jim Rohn)有一句名言:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
你是與你相處時間最多的5個人的平均。
LifeHack網站發了一篇文章,認為這世上有五種人,當敬而遠之:
這五種有毒的人,你現在就要遠離他們
作者說:
We only have a limited time to live a meaningful life. Toxic people slowly drain you of your vitality. The more energy you spend on them, the more stressed and empty you feel. We have all encountered such people, and some of us may have even been toxic people at some point in our lives.
我們只有有限的時間度過充滿意義的人生。毒人會慢慢榨乾你的生命力,你花在他們身上的精力越多,你的壓力就會越大、也會越空虛。我們都遭遇過這樣的人,甚至在生命中的某些節點,我們自己也當過這種有毒的人。
一起來看是哪五種人。
1. The Gossiper 八卦君
The gossiper make you feel like they are bringing you into the fold by sharing delicate information with you. It seems like all they do is gather and disperse chitchat about other people. However, this doesn't add value to your life, and if the gossiper will talk to you, you can be sure that they’re also talking about you to someone else.
八卦君們讓你覺得,他們透過和你分享一些小道訊息,好讓你更加融入群體。他們好像成天都在八卦別人,然後散佈出去。然而這不會給你的生活帶來任何價值。如果八卦君們試圖接近你,可以肯定他們也在跟別人談論你的八卦。
This is the person at work that corners you during break time and talks badly about another coworker's performance. People see you together, and they may even label you as a gossiper just for being associated with this type of toxic person.
在工作中,這種人一般都會在休息時間來找你,跟你瘋狂吐槽另一個同事的表現。人們要是看見你和這種人一起,他們甚至也會給你貼上“愛八卦”的標籤,誰讓你老和這種有毒的人廝混在一起呢?
2. The Manipuator 操縱狂
A manipulator knows what they want, and they'll use you to get it. They don't care about your thoughts and feelings. It seems like the more time you spend with them, the less power you have over yourself. Stick around this person too long, and you’ll end up doing whatever they want。
操縱狂對自己想要啥清楚得很,他們會利用別人來達成目標。人家才不在乎你的想法和感受。貌似你與他們呆的越久,你對自己的掌控力就越低。要是和這種人呆久了的話,你最後就會完全聽命於他們。
For example, I have a friend who is being in a toxic relationship. His girlfriend is controlling and abusive. Whenever he tries to leave, she fakes a health crisis to make him feel sorry for her. Since my friend is a nice guy, he sticks around and tries to make her feel better.
比如說,我有個朋友,他就處在一段特有毒的關係中。他女票很霸道,控制慾還很強。每當他試圖離開時,他女票總會假裝生病,讓我朋友覺得有愧於她。我朋友就是人好,所以總是在她身邊,讓她感到開心。
3. The Judge 審判者
Regardless of what you say, think, or do, the judge will always have some criticism for you. The judge never tries to put themselves in your shoes. Their only concern is what you did or didn’t do. The more time you spend with them, the more depressed you’ll be. You can never make them happy.
不管你說啥、做啥或是想啥,審判者們都要批評你一番。這些愛評頭論足的人從不會試著站在對方的角度思考。他們只關注你做了什麼或沒做什麼。和他們呆的時間越久,你就會越沮喪。你永遠也不能令他們滿意。
4. The Exaggerator 誇大其詞的人
An exaggerator doesn't know how to keep a small problem small. They often resort to saying things like, "You never did…" or "You have always been…" They don't take the time to consider steps you've taken to fix the problem or correct your mistake. To an exaggerator, every mistake feels like the end of the world.
這些總愛誇大事實的人特別喜歡把小問題搞得很嚴重,“你從沒做過......”或者“你老是......”他們忽視你為解決問題或者糾正錯誤所做的努力。對於他們,任何錯誤都像是世界末日。
5. The Emotional Expresser 情緒化吐槽狂
The emotional expresser loves talking about feelings, but they never do this in a constructive way. This is the people who repeatedly tell you how bad something makes them feel, but never take any action to improve the bad situations.
情緒化吐槽狂超喜歡錶達自己的情緒,但是卻從來不會以一種積極的方式表達。這種人總是一而再再而三地告訴你,某件事讓他們感到有多糟糕,但卻不會付諸任何行動去改變這種不好的狀況。
Any suggestion that you make for how they can improve their lives will be met with resistance. "I can't do that…" and "I've already tried that…" are responses that the emotional expresser will give to you when you challenge them to face their problems.
而且你給他們任何能夠提高生活的建議都會被他們否決。而當你要他們去面對自己的問題時,他一般都會回答,“我做不了那個......”和“我已經那樣試過了......”
你有沒有碰見過這樣的人?
(來源:中國日報雙語新聞微信 編輯:左卓、丹妮)
來源:中國日報雙語新聞微信