凱文·凱利，一位暢銷書作家，也是《連線（Wired）》雜誌創始主編。儘管他不曾創立價值萬億的網際網路公司，卻絲毫不影響他在世界網際網路圈的顯著地位。他的著作《失控》被譽為“網際網路聖經”。在微信團隊研發中心，幾乎每一個產品經理手上都有一本《失控》，尤其是微信之父張小龍那句：“不讀《失控》的產品經理，知識結構是不完整的。”除了張小龍以外，凱文·凱利也受到馬化騰、王小川、羅振宇等人的追捧，被人們親暱地稱為“KK”。去年，凱文·凱利在他的68歲生日時，準備了68條簡短的建議，作為禮物送給年輕人，希望能對你有所啟發。
作者 | 凱文·凱利68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice。本文由36氪旗下神譯局編譯，譯者蒂克偉
1、學會從那些你不同意、甚至冒犯你的人身上學習。看看你能否發現他們背後的真相是什麼。
2、充滿激情可以提高25點智商。
3、永遠要有一個deadline。deadline能夠排除不相關的東西。避免追求完美，你必須追求與眾不同，與眾不同比完美更好。
4、不要害怕問愚蠢的問題。因為99%的情況下其他人也想問同樣的問題，只是因為怕尷尬而羞於提問。
5、善於傾聽是一種超能力。傾聽你所愛之人的時候，多問問“還有什麼？”，直到他們傾訴了所有。
6、一個值得追求的年度目標：充分學習一個領域，以至於你無法相信一年前有多麼無知。
7、感恩能帶來其他的美德，感恩是一件你可以練習的事情。
8、沒有什麼是美食不能解決的事情。一起吃頓好的對於鞏固老朋友和結交新朋友都很有用。
9、不要相信“萬能”膠。
10、經常給你的孩子朗讀書籍，能夠加深你們之間的羈絆，激發孩子的想象力。
11、不要借貸消費，唯一值得借貸只有一種情況，購買房產這種交換價值極有可能增加的東西。大多數東西的交換價值從你購買的那一刻就會開始減少或消失，不要因債致貧。
12、專業人士和新手的區別在於，他們知道如何從錯誤中優雅地走出來。
13、非凡的主張需要非凡的證據才能讓人信服。
14、不要當房間裡最聰明的那個人，與比自己更聰明的人交往，並向他們學習。更好的是找到那些與你意見不同的聰明人。
15、交流的“三”原則，要找到真相，讓別人比他們之前說的更深一些，一次、兩次、三次的重複這個過程，第三次你就接近真相了。
16、別做最好的，要做唯一的。
17、所有人都很害羞。別人在等著你介紹自己，等著你給他們發郵件，等著你邀請他們約會。大膽去做。
18、當別人拒絕你的時候，不要在意。假設他們和你一樣：忙碌、沒時間、注意力分散。稍後再試一次，很神奇，第二次嘗試往往會成功。
19、建立習慣的目的，是不用自我談判，不在決定做一件事上花費精力，你直接就做了。好的習慣包括講真話、用牙線。
20、及時是尊重的表現。
21、當你年輕的時候，至少花6個月到1年的時間，儘可能地過貧窮的生活，儘可能少地擁有東西，在一個小房間或帳篷裡只吃豆子和米飯，以體驗你 “最壞”的生活方式可能是什麼。這樣一來，當你將來要冒什麼風險時，你就不會害怕最壞的情況了。
22、相信我，這世上沒有“他們”。（編者注：出自愛爾蘭搖滾樂隊 U2 的一首歌Invisible“There's no them / only us”）
23、你對別人越感興趣，別人就越覺得你有趣。要想變得有趣，先有興趣。
24、儘量慷慨。沒有人在臨終前會後悔自己給予了太多。
25、要做出不錯的東西，要大膽去做它。要想做出好的東西，需要一次又一次去做。做好東西的秘訣在於重新去做。
26、黃金法則永遠不會過時，它是所有其他美德的基礎。（黃金法則：想要別人怎麼對待你，你就要怎麼對待別人）
27、如果你在家裡找東西，最後找到了，用完之後，不要把它放回你最終找到它的地方。把它放回你最先去找的地方。
28、存錢和投資都是好習慣。幾十年來不加思索地定期投資少量資金是通往財富的一條道路。
29、犯錯是人之常情。承擔你的錯誤是神聖的。沒有什麼比迅速承認你所犯的錯誤，並承擔個人責任，然後公平地糾正錯位更能提升一個人的地位。如果你搞砸了，大膽承認錯誤吧。這種力量非常強大。
30、略去
31、你可以痴迷於服務你的客戶/讀者/客戶，你也可以痴迷於擊敗競爭對手。兩者都有效，但前者會讓你走得更遠。
32、保持在場，持續保持在場。成功人士說過：99％的成功就是因為保持在場贏得的。
33、把創作和改進的過程分開。你不能同時進行寫作和編輯，不能同時雕刻和拋光，不能同時製作和分析。如果你這樣做，編輯會阻止創造。當你發明時，不要選擇。當你畫草圖時，不要檢查。當你寫第一稿時，不要反思。在開始的時候，創造者的頭腦必須從評判中解放出來。
34、如果你從未跌倒過，那麼你也就從未努力過。
35、也許宇宙中最反直覺的真理是，你給別人的越多，你得到的也越多，瞭解這一點是智慧的開始。
36、朋友比錢更好。幾乎所有金錢能做的事情，朋友都能做得更好。在許多方面，有一個有船的朋友比自己有一艘船要好。
37、這是真的：要欺騙一個誠實的人是很難的。
38、略去
39、你做什麼，你就是什麼。不是你說什麼，不是你相信什麼，不是你如何投票，而是你把時間花在什麼地方。
40、略去
41、仇恨是一種詛咒，它不會影響被仇恨的人，只會毒害仇恨別人的那個人。把仇恨當作一種毒藥吧。
42、沒有最好，只有更好。人才的分配是不公平的，但我們改善自己的道路是沒有終點的。
43、做好準備。當你完成任何大型專案（房子、電影、活動、App）的90%時，其餘無數的細節將需要第二個90%來完成。
44、人死之後，除了名聲，什麼也帶不走。
45、在你年老之前，儘可能多地參加你能承受的葬禮，並仔細傾聽。沒有人會談論逝者的成就。人們唯一會記得的是你在取得成就時是個什麼樣的人。
46、每花一塊錢購買一些實質性的東西，預計在其壽命結束時要支付一塊錢的維修、保養或處理費用。
47、任何真實的東西都始於對可能發生的事情的虛構。因此，想象力是宇宙中最強大的力量，也是一種你可以變得更好的技能。它是生活中的一種技能，幫助你從其他人忽視的事情中獲益。
48、不要浪費危機和災難。沒有問題，就沒有進步。
49、度假時先去行程中最偏遠的地方，繞開城市。在偏遠地區，你會最大限度地感受到另類的衝擊，然後在回來的路上，你會回到城市中熟悉的舒適。
50、當你收到在未來做某事的邀請時，問問自己：如果這件事安排在明天，你會接受嗎？這可以篩選掉大部分事情。
51、不要說任何你不願意直接對某人說的關於某人的事情，因為最終他們會知道。
52、如果你迫切需要一份工作，你只是老闆的又一個問題；如果你能解決老闆現在的許多問題，你就穩了。想找到工作，就要像你的老闆那樣思考。
53、藝術藏身於你所遺漏之處。
54、獲得的物質很少會給你帶來深刻的滿足，但獲得經驗可以。
55、研究中的7法則。如果你願意進入七個層次，你就能找到任何東西。如果你問的第一個信源不知道答案，就問他們你應該問誰，以此類推。如果你願意問到第七個，你幾乎總是能得到答案。
56、如何道歉：快速、具體、真誠。
57、永遠不要在電話中回應懇求或求婚。迫切性是一種偽裝。
58、當有人對你討厭、粗魯、憎恨或刻薄時，假設他們是病人。這使你更容易對他們產生共情，從而緩和衝突。
59、消除雜亂，為你真正的寶藏提供空間。
60、略去
61、經驗被高估了。在招聘的時候，要為能力而招聘，為技能而培訓。大多數真正驚人或偉大的事情都是由第一次做這些事情的人完成的。
62 一個假期+一場災難=一次冒險。
63、購買工具。從購買你能找到的最便宜的工具開始。升級你經常使用的工具。如果你在某項工作中最終選擇使用了某種工具，就買你能負擔得起的最好的。
64、學會進行20分鐘的小憩而不感到不自然。
65、如果你不知道自己對什麼有熱情，也要知道單純追求快樂會讓人麻痺。對大多數年輕人來說，一個更好的座右銘是 “掌握一些東西，無論什麼東西”。透過掌握某種技能，你可以朝著能給你帶來更多快樂的方向延伸發展，並最終發現你的幸福所在。
66、我很肯定，100年後，我們今天認為是正確無誤的事情，很多都會被證明是錯誤的，甚至可能是令人尷尬的錯誤，我非常努力地去尋找我今天錯在哪裡。
67、從長遠來看，未來是由樂觀主義者決定的。成為一個樂觀主義者，不是要忽視現有的許多問題，而是想象怎麼才能改善我們解決問題的能力。
68、冥冥之中，宇宙在幫助你，如果你接受這一前提，將更容易成功。
英語原文：
1. Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or who even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.
2. Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.
3. Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid, because 99 percent of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.
5. Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love, keep asking them “Is there more?” until there is no more.
6. A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.
7. Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.8. Treating a person to a meal never fails and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.
9. Don’t trust all-purpose glue.
10. Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kick-start their imaginations.
11. Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
12. Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.
13. Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.
14. Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hang out with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.
15. Rule of three in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.
16. Don’t be the best. Be the only.
17. Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them; they are waiting for you to send them an email; they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.
18. Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.
19. The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth to flossing.
20. Promptness is a sign of respect.
21. When you are young, spend at least six months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way, anytime you have to risk something in the future, you won’t be afraid of the worst-case scenario.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
22. Trust me: there is no “them.”
23. The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.
24. Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.
25. To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just redo it, redo it, redo it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.
26. The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.
27. If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.
28. Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.
29. To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.
30. Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
31. You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
32. Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99 percent of success is just showing up.
33. Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgment.
34. If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.
35. Perhaps the most counterintuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.
36. Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways, a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.
37. This is true: it’s hard to cheat an honest man.
38. When an object is lost, 95 percent of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.
39. You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.
40. If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter, or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters, and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
41. Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.
42. There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.
43. Be prepared: when you are 90 percent done with any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app), the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90 percent to complete.
44. When you die, you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.
45. Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.
46. For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.
47. Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.
48. When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.
49. On vacation, go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
50. When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: Would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.
51. Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.
52. If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.
53. Art is in what you leave out.
54. Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.
55. Rule of seven in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them whom you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the seventh source, you’ll almost always get your answer.
56. How to apologize: quickly, specifically, sincerely.
57. Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.
58. When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them, which can soften the conflict.
59. Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
60. You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.
61. Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.
62. A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.
63. Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.
64. Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.
65. Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “Master something, anything.” Through mastery of one thing, you can drift toward extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy and eventually discover where your bliss is.
66. I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.
67. Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist, you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.
68. The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.This post originally appeared on KK.org. Republished by permission of the author.
